Should you write a wedding gift list?

Written by Becks

To ask or not to ask – that is the question…

The gift list can cause unease for both the couple and the guests; no one really likes asking for things especially when it comes to money, and no one likes to feel obligated one way or another (as it goes against the very nature behind the act of gift giving; it should be something that is a joyful, unexpected spontaneous experience, a personal act of love) but without a personal wish list it can leave guests in a quandary of what to give…

You will find there is a mix of responses:

  • often guests want to gift to you something that you really want or need
  • some prefer to give gifts of money or vouchers so that you can put it towards buying something special
  • others prefer to give an item as a gift rather than money, as a keepsake for your day
  • a handful love to surprise you with something beautiful, personally chosen for you by them
  • some gifts will have been inspired by things people loved from their own wedding or had wished they were given

It can be really fun to create a list together of items for your home; window shopping and the option of online lists from single and multiple stores (with the added convenience of letting your guests know where the items can be found and can then order from the comfort of their sofa) or the traditional notepad detailing a different idea on each tear out page to avoid duplicate gifts. However many couples today have pretty much the key elements they need to set up home – there might be some “nice to have” items but these are generally more than the couple would feel comfortable to ask for…

Getting the right balance can be tricky!

How to personally ask for money instead of gifts for your wedding

People do like choice, and to be involved in that choice. For our own wedding the best gift for us was to have our closest family and friends there to celebrate with us, so within our wedding invitations we simply kept all the information to the details of the celebrations with no mention of gifts. However, on the R.S.V.P cards we found personal written requests for a gift list, or alternatively our parents were discreetly asked for ideas… our solution was to then ask those who expressed a wish to gift something, to put some money or vouchers towards completing a special project for our home – in our case a ‘driveway for two’ – creating a welcoming entrance and a lasting reminder of our day…

Some couples ask for monetary contributions towards:

  • an experience on their honeymoon
  • an item for their home
  • a day trip
  • spending money for their honeymoon
  • redecorate a room
  • garden make over

Add a bit of flair and personality with a poem or personal note (handwritten, emailed, or included on your wedding website), it doesn’t have to rhyme – something personal from you both will be perfect…

See some poem ideas here on

– if you are not mentioning a gift list or project idea until asked, remember to let your parents know your preferences incase they are approached for ideas…

Whichever idea you opt for let your guests know what their money or vouchers will go towards. A lovely, heartfelt way to express your thanks and appreciation is to add a beautiful photo from your honeymoon or the completed home project (perhaps even a before and after shot) with your thank you note.

thank youthank youthank youthank you



Beautiful ‘Thank you’ card designs available within the Paper Buttercup Design Collections or request a bespoke design – perhaps a postcard style design!

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